A letter!

Apparently our lives are quickly starting to revolve around when we get a phone call or a letter from DH. Today i obsessively checked the mail 4 times, KNOWING it would come today after speaking with him. My goal was to get it, take down the address and then put the address on an envelope i had already stuffed with 2 letters and pictures and get it to the post office before 3 pm (their pick up times) and then rush and pick up lyssa by 3:10! Thankfully, it came and I was able to do all of that just in the nick of time. I hope that it cheers him up and lifts his spirits as he's having a really rough time out there.

Today was a good day. I was given the gift of closure that I so desperately needed. My surrogacy journey didn't end as well as we all had hoped it would. One day, when I'm far from it i will be able to share more. But at the time I'm just content to be through. Today I had a visitor. She was a local mom from a board that I visit from time to time. Her DD was born with heart and kidney issues so severe she is needing surgery. She has been having a rough time getting her supply up and visiting to and from the NICU to keep up with her daughter (who was born right around when i had my surrodaughter). So i sent her a pm and let her know that I had a bit of extra milk from the week before I started antibiotics and would love to get it to her if she was open to that. She came by today and her gratitude and thankfulness was overwhelming. She showed me more emotion and love then my IPs did and it blew me away. Here i have been struggling with hyperlactation and literally crying to God as to why I have this issue when i dont even have a child to care for or give it to. I fought so much pain and literal agony with the over supply and the mastitis and the clogged ducts that I truly thought I was being punished for something. Maybe it was God's hint to not be a surrogate ever again (notated and filed!). And then this happened. Suddenly there is a wonderful reason for my over abundance of milk and a sweet little newborn who will be able to have breastmilk sustain her until her surgery and recovery is complete! That had been her mother's biggest concern and she didn't know if she was going to be able to keep up since she's struggling so much with it.

Suddenly, i have my closure. I have the last remnants of surrogacy out of my home, with that milk left a part of me that I will never be again. And this mother made me feel so special and she blessed me with her wonderful attitude. Talk about a woman i look up to. She was smiling and upbeat and positive. She even took the time to give us some free passes to the local zoo, something that is going to brighten my children's summer while i try hard to fill the many days looming ahead of us with out their dad home! She gave to us, even in the midst of her time of need and unknown. She gave me the gift of seeing into her life, seeing something all us mother's fear and being able to see how she is taking it head on with a smile on her face and complete faith that all will be well. I am in awe of her and look forward to getting to know her and her family better. I am thankful that our lives crossed each other at this particular time, and it just proves. God really does answer prayers and He really knew exactly what i was needing this week. I was needing the ability to say job well done, and carry on with my life. This wonderful mother gave me that and i am forever thankful.