There is no perfection

We've had a busy few weeks. We've moved and slowly have been unpacking and settling in. The kids are loving their new private school and every day I pick them up I am deeply grateful that because we moved to a much lower cost of living area, I can finally afford a private Christian school for them where they are surrounded by like minded students and teachers. The kids have about 7-12 students per each class - my middle DD is in a combo class with 2 grades and has 9 students total and my son is in pre-kindergarten with 7 or 10 kids. My oldest DD is in 'middle school' now as their 5th grade starts following the middle school split up and loves having a locker and different teachers and periods. They all are in love with their teachers and classmates and say they prefer it to their old school. Daily bible reading and weekly chapel have grounded the kids in a way I've not seen them for a very long time. I get teary eyed when a random teacher stops me and asks how I'm feeling as the kids had been praying for me as I'd been fighting off a bug which was causing my morning sickness to rear it's head. BK and I have started searching out congregations as we've come to the agreement that we will not be following in the faith of my youth, a decision I've come to before but have yet to act on until the move. Every night we cuddle into each other and chat and discuss how right it all is. This is where we were meant to be and we love our life together. He has been joking more and more about changing my name, and not back to my maiden name as I never bothered to change my married name. I'd been hesitant to jump into marriage, I've made no secret of that but with him I know this is my forever.

Which has led me to do a lot of thinking. Our relationship started out almost a year ago now as a long distance relationship. Two hours between us and juggling the demands and custody schedules of seven children is no easy feat. But we make it work, and in a way that is natural and stress free. We'd take turns traveling to the other depending on whose kids were where and always made sure that the kids still got individual parenting time with their respective parent. Gradually when we introduced the children to each other, it melded and we started to see the formation of our family. And going a few days a week apart from each other allowed us to see how we handled separation and life as it happens. Neither of us felt the suffocating, unhealthy need to be with each other 24/7 but also couldn't wait till we were together as a family in one home.

The distance forced us to talk a lot more than most couples do in this day and age with technology which can be used as an easy crutch to ignore each other. We relied on friendship and communication, whereas it's easy these days to rely on sex and the physical relationship. And with the foundation of a friendship we've come to name each other our best friend as well as lover and confidante, and ultimately life partner. And it's led me to realize there is no Mr or Mrs right. There is no perfection in any one person. We aren't traveling through life looking for the person that Hollywood has deemed we need to complete us. There is no need to self medicate and ignore the person we each are. Instead we grow, we change, we evolve into who we are meant to be and from there we get to bloom and attract to us what is right for us, another person doing the exact same thing but can't be realized until they do their own personal work within themseles. There is no perfection, but there can be a a great match that we fit into as if we were carved from the same tree and growing in two separate fields just waiting to piece back into each other. Each of us growing, scarring, healing, evolving until the moment when we came to a place where our roads merged and we became enough for ourselves so that we could offer ourselves as is to each other.

I don't want perfection, I want exactly what we have. I want this healthy, happy, full, respectful, caring, passionate love that we share and know will walk us to the end of our paths. I want us as we are. Screw perfection, I want reality.