We are marching right into Christmas and time is not slowing down or making accommodations for the hiccups we've hit with moving. Thankfully we are just going with it and working with it. Health-wise I'm 2 weeks out and feel human again, something I'm extremely thankful for.
We got the keys to our home, carpets get torn out and flooring will be installed today and tomorrow. Furniture is making its way over here and there as BK and his buddies can transport as much as possible daily. Today he's over with two of the kids and cleaning while I work from home and juggle the other kids. Tonight we have holiday baking we need to finish so we can put together our baskets and deliver to our closest friends. All the gifts have been wrapped and boxed up, labeled specifically so we can just pull them out once the kids pass out Christmas Eve (holy moly, are there going to be some happy kids!). Saturday morning when my Bigs get back we will head out and cut down a tree and decorate. Normally, by now we would have the tree and stockings up, presents out, baking and baskets complete. We are reminding each other it's okay to not be on point this year, it's more so the traditions that are important. This year we won't be able to go visit family again due to the awkward schedule we have with one of the kid's, but we will make due. Hopefully next year.
We walked through the house the other day when we got the keys and I was incredibly quiet. BK was expecting some sort of reaction from me I think. But I just walked from room to room and was silently going over the past decade of my life and all the major moments played like a reel inside my head. Everything has led to this point in my life. It wasn't a bittersweet moment, I'd define it as incredibly overwhelming. We own a home! This is my very first home at the age of 36. In my previous marriage we had a few homes that we had started building but were interrupted by a serious health complication of one of our children one time, another cancelled due to my ex's diagnoses of disseminated Lyme disease, and the final time was when I realized he was cheating. I had been through the steps of finding a home and making it mine mentally only to have to cancel contracts, lose money and be disappointed.
So, all through this process my excitement has been lacking. I kept saying I'd be excited when the keys are in our hands. I'm excited, inwardly and so very afraid to show it despite how big of an accomplishment this is for us. I spent 3 years working tirelessly on my credit. My ex had ruined it beyond shambles towards the end of our marriage. Being a single mom, I had to work doubly hard to save, pay off, and cover the marital debt I took on when we divorced. But I did it. BK has worked on his the last decade as well, all while providing for his kids and working his butt off. Together when we met, we were financially in great places, since getting married we've exploded with our growth.
One of the things I love dearly about BK is his acceptance of what I went through and how important financial stability is to me. Money in savings, money going towards retirement (something he has pushed me to, but I've never been able to do till now), having vehicles that are functional and under warranty, paying off debt and minimizing our monthly payments, being able to provide comfortably and well for every single child in this family, and having money to spend on ourselves for vacations which is our alone time with so many kids. My biggest goal was to buy a home. A home that would fit our family size was no easy feat, and dropped all the cheaper housing out of our realm. That was a big pill to swallow as I am thrifty and wanted to save money. But making us fit into a 4 bedroom 2 bath house was not an option. Six kids, with 2 adult children that visit meant we needed 6 bedrooms due to the blendedness of our family and an additional bathroom. Room for grandbabies that will eventually come and space for the kids to breathe and maintain the great relationships they already have.
When we found this house, I walked outside and said to our youngest, "We just found our house". BK walked out and said, "This is it". We knew. And under two years of being married we created our picture of financial stability and caught the low interest rates just in time. All of this was a gradual cause of the past decade we both survived. Three years and a few months together and we've been busy! It's just a house you may say. No - it's our home, it's our roots, it's our hard work and determination. Something we did together as partners and equally contributed towards for each other and our children. This house is a physical representation of the bests parts of blended families. The stairs that bind the two floors into one home. The cul-de-sac it is settled on where we will provide a safe haven for our children. The wide open living spaces that will share laughter, tears, happiness and changes.
So yes, I'm incredibly excited despite it possibly not being as visible as it should be. BK always says we can do great things when we do it together. He's so right. As the holidays swirl around us, slowing down for no one and nothing, we are settling into our first home. We are creating our future - intentionally, directly, gently, full of love and grace. And I am so, so very thankful for all of it. Happy holidays!
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