The hits keep on coming!

Ben will be getting laid off the day before my birthday, so as of April 24th we will be income-less. We have known for about 4 months, but kept being told by his manager he would be safe. Not so lucky it seems, the lay off is a reality and his boss has tried to fight for him tooth and nail to no avail. AT&T is letting him go and there is nothing that can be done for him. After 9 years of employment, the highest production in both yards (he also worked in the bay area) and one of the best employees any of his bosses have ever worked with; he will be let go without severance. We have been a bit panicked by it. I am not due until April 28th and insurance will stop on the last day of April, after that we will be forced to pay for Cobra and that is not a $1000 bill that we want to pick up. We also have yet to find any other job that makes near what we are use to.

So for the last month we've been looking, praying and researching what our options are. We could move out of state for work, but with the recent moves we really want to settle for a bit. Our landlord, the saint that he is, cut off $400 from our rent and agreed to change our lease to month to month in case we end up having to move. This should help a bit, as it looks like Ben will be joining the California Air National Guard. This is scary, huge, life changing and something that we have talked heavily about. The Guard itself is ok, he will only be needed one weekend a month and 2 weeks a year and will be doing something that means he will be doing something that will keep him here and nondeployable for the time being. It also opens the door to a position 15 mins away from where we live full time that is in his line of work. He had to be in the Guard to be eligible for it, as it is a Federal job. AND the nat'l guard will send him to school for 4 months that will pay for his Cisco certification.

We've been nervous and anxiety ridden about making the right choice. Initially between basic and AIT he will be gone 6 months. The wonderful part is we have friends who have been able to pull some strings and the position will be held for dh while he gets his training. We will have insurance through the nat'l guard, as well as all active duty benefits that the military provides. On top of this dh will have a stable job that will allow him to start at a salary that is more then what we currently make. The stability of the job is an answered prayer.

BUT the downside is we have to figure out if we want him to start now (he would be gone for 10 weeks straight doing basic training, which means he will NOT be here for the birth) or wait til after i give birth and possibly lose the position. We've been talking about it all day and the decision quite frankly overwhelms me. This is not our child, i know i can do this, i have friends and my mother who will be here for me, as well as my mw's. BUT, Ben is my labor partner. . . and HE gets me through birth in a way that no one else on this earth can. I think the smart thing to do is to send him off now, make the initial sacrifice to set up our family for success. And in the meantime work on getting my support system and try to fly out my bff on the Internet and her 2 girls so i have some company and don't go crazy from being lonely the last month I'm due.

We also have to figure out how the insurance would work. It will not cover a homebirth, so that will be $5000 out of pocket for us. We could pay for cobra for just dh and myself and be reimbursed for my costs. . . but I'm not sure if its worth it. Something to figure out still. We will see, I'm hoping the right decision comes to us so we know which way we will be going in the next few weeks.