I can only do so much

As the proverbial stuff hits the fan, I can only hope to keep my dignity and self respect. Surrogacy is a journey for everyone involved. There must be trust, truth, honesty, and honor of each persons role. It doesn't have to be perfect, a bed of roses or a match made in heaven. The ultimate goal is to help a family have a child. That was my goal going into this and after the failure of our m/c with my first set of intended parents, it really became more 'real' to me what infertility does to families.

But i must speak up. Do not lie, do not hide facts, and do not enter surrogacy unless you know what you are getting into and willing to learn about the process. Hiring a surrogacy agency shortly after being told that you need a surrogate and then throwing it all in their hands and then leaving out important facts, is not the wisest choice. It will end in a mess. And as the woman carrying the child, I have been left feeling the brunt of it.

It amazes me that people when given the option to be honest, will continue to bald face lie to you. It saddens me mostly. What is the point of the lies? What does it accomplish? Lieing about age, marriages, or other life facts is illegal when you sign a contract stating you have provided true and correct information to all the parties involved. And it leaves the surrogate feeling distrust and confusion. How do you carry on and maintain a stress-free/healthy pregnancy? How do you birth with people in the room that you don't trust? How do you know if anything you have been told is the truth? Well, the plain facts are you don't know anymore and you trudge along trying to do whats best, while keeping your word and praying that you just make it through one day closer to delivery and closure. My story is not a bed of roses, it coming to a head is sad and stressful. I'm strong, i know i'll pull through. At least i have a sweet pup who is able to sense my emotions and always knows just when to come to my feet and nudge me for some tlc (pet therapy is pretty cool). And i have a dh who is supportive and in my ring, willing to protect me and hold my hand through the remainder of it all. And i have 2 beautiful daughters, that i will be able to teach to be honest and truthful and loving and to give, even when its hard to give and you've been hurt. For now that is the path that i will focus on.