I have started seeing a counselor to help me get through all the issues we've had with the surrogacy thus far. I feel nowhere is 'safe' to get them out, which is hard for me since im such a vocal "this is how it is" type of gal. I don't pretend, I don't sugar coat my life and I never ignore the obvious. So not being able to be 100% honest with my journey on my online communities and blog, is really not par for the course. But, the counselor wants me to start writing it out, instead of waiting til the end of the day and having 'worry time' in my bed while i toss and turn or get up and down to visit the bathroom.
Well, today I don't have so many worries as I have frustrations. I have absolutely NO respect for women who play the victim and use their sadness and feigned weakness to manipulate others to do what they want. It really ticks me off for a few reasons. First off, you're stronger then you act and I know it and YOU know it. Its why you've stopped communicating with me, you have realized you can no longer manipulate me to do things that are not part of our contract. Second off, it only makes you look weaker. Accepting others help and emotions in something like this and then acting so wickedly and using them is abhorable. Lastly, the fact that no shame is shown. . . just blows my mind. Users are more then just people addicted to drugs apparantly and they are not people I care for. Sadly, im stuck with a pair of them for at least another 2 months. Lucky me.
It also breaks my heart for the many childless friends that I have made over the past few years in the surrogacy world. What wouldn't they give
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