Pay cut, huh?

Tonight I got an email that was forwarded, it was involving a response to a supposed article by a Cindy Williams that was published in the Washington Times. I snoped it, of course, first to make sure that my righteous indignation was well spent. I found out that this article was written not during the Obama administration, but during the Clinton administration. Still, it got me thinking. As we often hear whisperings as military, about the upcoming pay cuts, it really got me thinking.

Those that are 'up' there, must really not know what type of things servicemembers and their families endure. We were relieved to find out this month that the pay cuts wouldn't happen. I am married to a man who proudly serves in the National Guard as an E-5. We have 3 children, a large dog and loads of debt. My DH joined the military almost 2 years ago. He hasn't been in the military all of his adult life, and thus has not been able to gain his position in rank. He has had to wait for the red tape of 'time in service' to be able to move up the ranks. And yet, he dutifully and patiently bides his time. Proudly serving his country, following his dreams of being a servicemember, and helping make this country a better place.

When he first came to me about joining the military, me being the financial head of our family, i thought he'd gone off his rocker. I went and researched and did the math and found that we would be living off of about a quarter of what we were accustomed to making (yep this was totally a 'are you FLIPPING crazy' moment for me). We had about $45,000, so simply dumbing down our living to a lesser cost of living wouldn't be enough to make it work. It simply came about telling ourselves our new motto, short term sacrifice for long term gain. My dh believed that our sacrifices and ability to pinch our pennies would ultimately be worthwhile. And while i am the financial one, i'm the last to admit to it but he is right. Seeing my dh's pride in himself (even when other's his age dare to make him feel less than due to his rank, which angers me to no end), his joy at serving his country, the joy and pride in our children's eyes when dh is in uniform and when they see how other's respect him, the unity it has brought our family at recognizing the sacrifice and honor in others who serve our country, and knowing that my DH is working at making our lives a safer place through his service to our country . . .it is a huge gift to serve in the United States Army. One I fought my entire life (i always said i'd never marry someone in the military lol, but alas, i find myself a spouse to one and while i don't admit to it usually. I am DAMN proud of my Army man. He makes this place a better world, a safer world, and one where my children can grow proud in the fact that he is willing to give of himself to better serve our country.)

But none the less, it doesn't ease the burden of a servicemember's pay. To hear these whisperings and fears of the pay raises being cut, doesn't sit well with me. I highly doubt that those who make these decisions really understand or are current with the sacrifices our servicemembers make. Of course this falls at the same time that I have been told about an upcoming deployment for my DH. I look at it this way, my DH will be shipped off to another country as a United States Soldier, working 24/7. His pay is that of an E-5 ($2090.10 + 1749 monthly), which is a LOT less then what DH makes as a DOD employee normally. So while I am honored to be a military wife and have a dh who fights for a country that he believes in, we will have to figure out how to live on a heck of a lot less then what we currently make. He will be gone all the time, he will miss our son's 2nd birthday. He will miss our dd's 9th and 7th birthdays. He will miss our 10 year anniversary (which to me is devestating, but i'll get over it somehow), and so many other 'firsts'. He will miss a whole year of our cohesiveness. He will miss the 2nd and 3rd year of our first and only son. He will possibly miss my oldest dd changing from a child to a tween. It reminds me of the time that dh was gone for training. He missed our dd's first day of official school as she started kindergarten, he missed my dd's first day of 2nd grade and was not there for the first 3 months where she faltered and failed because she was so emotionally disabled by her father being gone that she in fact had to be held back a grade. He missed the 215 nights of bedtime stories, hugs and kisses, tears, boo boos and smiles. He missed the first 4 months of my pregnancy with our ds. He missed the positive test to our surprise pregnancy. He missed the moments of when my dd learned to swim on her own. He missed the first time in my life that I was forced to be my own entity, the sole reason for our entire families survival. Something that was shoved on me, without me ever realizing the full consequence of what it meant to raise a family alone. Not your typical single mother story, but alone. No father at all, as we had very limited phone contact. I had no room to falter. I had no ability to fail, because my children's happiness and well being relied on every breath i took to handle it and make it work, on limited income no less. Simply put, our servicemembers miss a whole heck of a lot of firsts and lasts, and yet they never whine or complain about it. Instead they take the pay, the honor and the joy to protect our country. And here, the congressmen and women and leaders of our country say we are making TOO much.

No, they are making far too little. And i can say so as a woman who's dh serves as a guardsman and has the opportunity to make more with his regular job. I'm thankful for what i have, i'm thankful for the other shoe. But i can't help but think about my friends that i know whose spouses live off these wages ALL the time. The ones who rotate into deployments every 18 months. Or the friend who is currently pregnant and was on bedrest for 10 weeks while her dh was away serving and he could do nothing to help her. Too much pay? How do you ever put a number on what the people who sacrifice everything to protect and serve our country? How do we know that what we are paying our servicemembers really helps to make sure that these families children are not hurting and paying the ultimate price?

Too much you say? Nope, can't agree because i've lived it first hand. I'm sure i'll be blasted by many a woman who lives the military life and makes it work on this income. But we live in California and currently rent is over $1300 a month. The cost of living is insane and while living on our DOD job, we scrape by. That on my dh's army pay. . . it just doesn't seem plausible. So are we suppose to uproot our children to a different area of living to make sure we don't go into further debt so that my dh can serve on his deployment? Tell me, is it my children's fault to make the sacrifice because their father wants to serve and protect this country?