Be Soft

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place." - Kurt Vonnegut.

The last few weeks I've been reminded of how easy it is to be bitter, hard, hateful and forget about the beauty we are surrounded by. People's actions, situations you randomly run into, the never ending issues with the kid's dad. Each and every is a moment for me to be hardened, to respond to hate with hate. The last few weeks have also been full of moments of complete sunshine, reminding me that I am not the type of person to let the battles of day to day life tarnish my inner peace, joy and love.

I'm also reminded of how I was while married. It was so easy to be bitter, hard, and in denial of how wonderful of a life it can be when you let it be. I have fought every step of the way to be here - happy, whole, loved, and surrounded by beauty. Our families are over the moon excited about the arrival of another grandson. BK's parents are so excited and the baby name recommendations come in almost daily, much to my enjoyment. His family is so warm, loving, and embracing of BK and I and it fills my heart with joy and contentment. I always knew when and if I remarried, I wanted a man whose family was involved, loving and embracing of me and my children. BK and I were talking about this the other day and he said how his parents don't just get one more grandson, they are gaining 2 more grand-daughters and another grand son via my kids. It about melted my heart. Especially since my ex'es mother is not involved at all with the kids.

And as BK and I work through the process of joining two families into one blended family, I look at him with complete respect, love, adoration and peace. THIS is where we were meant to be. How we come together in the midst of the stress and hard moments, moments that could potentially cause either of us to walk at any moment; shows that we are a team. Life sounds like it is all sunshine and roses, it is not. Blended families are not easy, there are ex'es and crazy people who want to get in the middle of it. There are court battles and transitions for all the kids. There is a lot of weighing and advocating to make sure the kids come first in every way, all while managing and nourishing a relationship. Some days are hard and stressful, some days are full of crazy exes who haven't gotten over their relationships. And those are the days we could fall apart. We could look at each other and say, "This is just too hard".

Instead we cleave together and become one. Reacting and doing without so much as a second thought, and each and every action is kind, thoughtful, warm, and for the benefit of each other and the family. Not a single moment of selfishness has come up and it has me so sure that this is it. We are doing the right things, we are following the path we have always meant to be on. We continue to be soft and warm, loving and loved. We are surrounded by beauty and instead of focusing on the ugliness, pain, and hard parts of life; we take it in stride and then focus on our amazing children, each other, and this beautiful life we are building together. A soft, beautiful life together.