Can't win for losing

I swear I am not a negligent blogger. It just seems when i have time to come up for air, it starts to rain!

Monday I had a list of things to do, clean the house from top to bottom, write dh, clean the sofa, wash the dog and trim his nails, clean the patio and organize it, poop patrol and try and get rid of all the cobwebs on the patio and start pulling out the weeds in the backyard. Well i thoroughly cleaned the girls playroom, which took an hour alone because i had to move so much stuff back and forth and dust; when my right breast started to get hard and hurt. I looked at the clock and still had a good 30 minutes before i was due to stop and pump. I pushed it off for 15 more minutes and that was the worst mistake of my life.

Within 30 minutes my entire right breast was engorged, red as a pepper, the veins in my aerolas were bulging and about 1 quarter of an inch of my aerola that meets the nipple was puffy. I got in the shower with the hottest water i could handle to bring on let down and soaking wet, hooked the pump up. To no avail. I couldn't get a drop to come out, and the pain was excruciating. Soon the fever hit and i knew i was up a creek with not even so much as a twig to get me back down it. After about an hour of doing everything possible (ive had mastitis numerous times with each girls), i finally called my parents after a crying my heart out. My mom came right over and checked it out and she tried to convince me to go to the emergency room.

Well, 2 problems with the emergency room. By this point i was vomitting and blacking out whenever i stood or touched my breast. I didn't dare trust myself to drive to the ER for fear of getting in an accident and my mom can't drive my car because it's a manual transmission. She didn't know how to get the girls carseats put into her car and we were stuck with no tranportation. Other problem was my insurance. I currently have it, but until June 1st its a $150 deductable and 15% of the cost of the visit, being the ER or even Urgent Care, i was not about to pay those costs. So i stubbornly stayed home and called my midwives. Thankfully i had some antibiotics at home from a previous issue (same one they prescribe for mastitis) and i started those. They also advised me to start benedryl every 4 hours to help me dry up and a list of other things to do.

That night was probably the sickest, worse night of my life. I can laugh now, but when you start to see bugs crawling all over your walls and wonder why your mother can't see them or when you wake up with your blanket so wet you actually think 'YES my milk finally drained out'. . . you're one sick puppy. Ends up fevers of 104 make me a tad bit delirious! LOL. Thankfully i survived, my mother was a saint and here off and on for the past 3 days cooking, cleaning and helping with the girls and the dog. I was able to lurch through them, and finally today i came out of the fog. And im thankful to say, my milk is drying up as well. Finally! I'm down to only having pumped once in the last day and only got 3 oz total.

So, that has been my exciting week! It's a great way to make time fly when you're missing your husband. And apparantly its a great way to get rid of all your anger, frustration, sadness at a husband who's gone for a long time, you just cry it out because you can't do much of anything else when you're that sick. Then you send it off and realize you're dealing with it and tomorrow has to be better. I'm also thinking about becoming a stand up comedian. Some of the things i think and have been writing when dealing with the past 2 weeks are pretty funny, mostly to make dh laugh. But im relieved to see through it all i'm keeping my humor. At least that cannot be taken even if my health and my once perfectly full and perky breast are forever changed.

It's 11 pm, time for another dose of benedryl, abx and tylenol. I promise to be back and fill in on the funny things im learning about the military life and the whole single mom stuff I had forgotten about!