Day 13

We have survived 13 days with dh gone! We also finally got our first phone call that we didnt miss! It was so wonderful to hear his voice, cheered the girls right up. Poor dh, bless his heart, is definately being beaten down by the seperation. This is the man who only ever has cried at our wedding and at the birth of each of our daughters. So to hear him full on sob when we started to talk, knowing that he was surrounded by his peers about broke my heart.

I told myself to be his strength and didn't dare let my voice waiver or catch with the tears that were streaming down my face, i was not going to make him cry worse or give him cause to worry about us. He kept asking how we were and saying how much he missed me and how i am the best wife ever. Poor guy was so concerned with how we are, i had to keep reassuring him. I didn't want him to waste his precious 5 minutes of time on worrying about us. We are fine, it was him i was concerned about. I guess they are only letting them get 2 hours of sleep a night and the first physical didn't go as well as he was hoping. And none of the other guys in his platoon are in his shoes of having a wife and kids at home, so it's getting to him emotionally. He has sent us 2 letters, and while it is the highlight of my month i scolded him a bit. He told me they only get 2 hours of sleep and so his letter writing hasn't been very good or very much. I told him to NOT waste any more sleep time to write us. That we would be here in 2 weeks when he was out of the red phase (this is where they try to kill them i believe) of training, and that once they had earned more sleep and things settled down, then he could write us. I hope he listens. I made it clear he is to worry about himself, and only himself during this 9 weeks of boot camp. It isn't pretty, it isn't easy and i wont have him failing because he's so concerned about us. The sentiment is sweet and i know he loves us, but he has to succeed at this and i will try to bolster him up best as i can.

I was sad to let him go, but didn't want to keep him on the line or make him hesitate and risk punishment. I've heard too many horror stories from an ex i dated while he went to boot camp, and vividly remember his letters and what he told me he went through. So i'm using what little knowledge i had stored away on all of this to strengthen me to be dh's support. He can do this and he has to know we are ok and support him through it all. I cannot wait to see him at his graduation, i miss him so desperately.

Today i started working out. Whoa nelly! I have this program from a friend called P90X. It's a 90 day hardcore video system. I don't have the bar or resistant bands, but am going to try to make it work best i can. I have 7 weeks to at least get down to my normal weight. I am officially at 163 lbs. Ick my head says. I started the pregnancy out at 168 and gained 14 lbs. So at least i've lost all the baby weight and then some, that is reassuring. But with stopping pumping, i really have to get on it. My goal is to be down to 140 by dh's graduation. Then by Christmas to be back to my fighting weight which is 130. I haven't been 130 since after I had Kiki and my thyroid spun uncontrollably out of whack. So we shall see how it goes. Tonight i did an hour of hardcore kenpo and cardio, kicked my butt! But i feel good, i have missed those work out endorphins, best drug in the world i tell ya! So my goal is to wake up every morning at 7 am and do the hour long work out. Then by the time the girls get up at 8 i will be done and can shower and then feed us all. In the evenings i hope to get on the wii fit and do walking/running or yoga or just fool around on it and see how i do. I am determinted, i have my goals, i just am not a morning person. So that will be my biggest hurdle.

I am slowly drying up! I have pumped once in 3 days and it was this morning at 6 am because they were very engorged and painful. So far im just playing it by ear and seeing how i do, im relieved to not be stuck to the pump every 3 hours. I think with in the next 2 weeks i will be completely done. At least that's what im praying for. I really need my breasts back to normal as they severely interfere with daily life. I'm afriad to go out much for fear of letdown and pain and leaking breast pads lol. I couldn't do jumping jacks during my workout because of the pain from my infection everytime they bounced too hard!

Well the benedryl is kicking in, its 10:30 pm and Lyss sounds like she is coming down with a cold which means a long night ahead of me. I'm off to bed myself!