Friday was a rough day. Possibly the last time i blogged until today, it was that bad. And then Saturday came and the hope of a new day. A very dear friend arrived with more than just helping hands. She arrived with the soothing spirit of one who just loves and holds no judgement.
V and the kids immediately played and I just sat and did a few things on the computer to try to catch up, but secretly was watching them out of the corner of my eyes. I would be lying if i didn't admit that the whole sister wives thing, has its draw. To watch your children in the care of someone you trust whole heartedly and love is a blessing and brings with it huge peace.
And then the same day, my niece arrived. I was armed and manned times two! This was the first help i'd had in weeks and i could have cried for joy. We spent an amazing day together, had a lovely dinner and sometime in the midst of that V hands me an envelope and said that before she forgot some dear friends had something for me. I put off opening the envelope for over an hour, using the kids as excuses. Because i had an inkling that I was going to be very humbled and I was not armed and ready for tears. Finally I could not put it off any longer without looking like an ungracious snatch and I opened an envelope full of 20 dollar bills. I looked at her and asked her how much or was I going to have to count it and what the hell I couldn't accept this! Ends up 5 dear women in my life pulled together $300 for me and I was floored. It wasn't the money itself. Well, it was but it wasn't. We are in the reccession and I know times are tough for everyone. But it's also that these women gave so freely of themselves to help me in my most dire of times.
V proceeded this weekend to spoil me. She let me sleep for an hour and a half for the first time in months without a baby in my arms! I woke up feeling like a million bucks. She treated my family to a dinner, she got my girls new school shoes and filled up my tank with gas. She went beyond what I ever would have asked anyone to do and yet the most amazing thing was that she was so very humble, loving and supportive. I felt for the first time in years, that I'm NOT a victim and I'm not the worst human being and don't deserve anything that is happening. Her kind words, her constant support and amazing friendship humbles the hell out of me.
I was able to catch up on a few bills, put aside an emergency stash and get the girls backpacks for school thanks to the amazing generosity of Celia, Kerri, Angela, Melanie and Vickye. So to you ladies, I am forever indebted. One day I will pay it forward and in the meantime I will be a gracious host of your generosity and love. I wont lie, this paid a huge part in my finding peace over the last few days and realizing what I needed to do for our kids to make the next few years ok. I realized that I'm NOT alone, that i'm surrounded by people that love me (even though i swear i'm not the most lovable of people!) and that means something. To you women I want you to know you touched my heart and soul and the very lives of my children this weekend. Your kindness and support means the world to me and i'll never forget it. I am stronger for this not because i have to be, but because i have friends willing to pull together financially, emotionally, verbally and comically to get me through anything that comes my way. My friends are truly the most AMAZING people on this entire planet and I think everyone should have friends such as I count myself blessed to have. I love you ladies and one day when my children are old enough to truly understand, I will be naming each of you to them trying to teach them what true love, generosity and humbleness means. Thank you
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